You never knew me

You were once the man for me—

everything I ever dreamed of.

The love I held for you

made me whole.

Being beside you

once made me happy.

I don’t understand

how you forgot me.

I stood right beside you

and still went unseen.

Taking your name

was never meant to mean

forgetting who I was.

I wanted a life with you.

I never wanted

to vanish inside it.

I made you my world.

You need the attention

of every room you enter.

What I found in you,

you never found in me:

the quiet contentment

of choosing the person beside you.

Everyone gets your conversation,

your interest,

your affection.

I know you’re capable

of giving those things.

I watch you give them

to everyone but me.

You dance with another woman

while I sit alone.

Then you act

as though I’ve ruined your night.

Call me a fucking jealous woman—

I’ll wear the name.

I would never do that to you.

Why do you keep me

when it feels as though

you don’t even like me?

My world has filled with silence.

I made you my world.

I needed to know

I mattered in yours.

We both knew hurt before.

I was careful with your heart.

I loved you enough

to consider how you felt.

I needed you

to care that way for me.

You care for me.

I care for you.

Making me feel loved

was what I trusted you to do.

That was your part—

what I needed from you.

I know what I need.

I’ve told you again and again.

You stare.

You bark.

You change nothing.

Then you dismiss it:

“Get over it.”

But the wounds I carry

haven’t disappeared.

How am I supposed to get over

what I’m still living through?

I wasn’t always this cold.

This is what you fed me.

I don’t wake up

and choose to withdraw.

I reach for you.

You hurt me.

Eventually,

I stop reaching.

I thought we would grow together.

Instead, I felt you stay behind.

I wanted you to be proud

of what we built:

our home,

my family,

the parts of me

that matter most.

Maybe I’m selfish now.

Maybe I deserve

something for myself.

I’ve spent my life

meeting everyone else’s needs.

All I asked for was kindness—

be my strength when I’m weak,

let me lean on you.

We survived the hard times.

I thought we could finally rest.

I’m growing older.

I wanted to feel secure.

These last few years

have hurt me the most.

When I needed you,

you upended my world.

Some days I don’t know

whether I’m coming or going.

I never wanted to feel

as though I were holding you back.

Now I’m numb.

I wouldn’t even know

what to do with the love

I’ve been asking you for.

You were once the man for me.

I know the difference.

That is what hurts the most.

I have to live

with the feeling

that my life here meant nothing—

that my needs were unimportant,

that I was never enough

to deserve your attention.

I gave this life my heart.

I need to know it mattered.

I don’t know how much longer

I can keep living this way.

I still love you.

I don’t know what to do.