Wraith(What the fuck happened)

The fuck, did I just see?

Another ghost, another me?

Fucking Revenant.

I leave this place for half a night,

Come floating back, shit ain’t right.

Bodies here, bodies there,

Blood and frost are everywhere.

I said, “No more victims for you!”

How the FUCK did you make a crew?!

I leave for five damn minutes,

Come back, there’s like twelve ghosts in it!

Oh, shut up.

What the fuck happened here?!

I leave, come back, everybody disappears!

Dead, dead, dead, dead

Another one joins!

You collecting fucking ghosts

like they’re Pokémon coins?!

What the fuck happened here?!

I was gone five minutes!

Like 12 ghosts in it.

What the fuck is THAT?!

Okay!

Screaming torso crawling around,

No legs, still chasing people down!

Freaky.

Not judging.

Actually, yes I am.

And Obambo’s tweaking out in a corner.

“Serenity…”

Oh, good.

“KILL THEM ALL!”

Kill them?!

NOPE!

See?!

THIS is why you don’t make ghosts!

What the fuck happened here?!

Every corner’s got a brand-new fear!

Dead, dead, dead, dead

Another one joins!

How the hell did one room

make this much noise?!

What the fuck happened here?!

I was gone five minutes!

Like 12 ghosts in it.

FIVE!

Revenant, look around you!

THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

Listen, asshole, seriously.

You gotta stop.

One day you’re gonna kill somebody

and make some horrible fucking…

Thing.

Like teeth everywhere.

Six arms.

Maybe it crawls on ceilings.

Maybe it eats bodies.

Maybe it…

…

What the actual fuck?

[Aswang:] “ME MUST EAT.”

…

I WAS FUCKING JOKING!

WHY IS IT EATING SOMEONE?!

DON’T LAUGH!

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT!

What the fuck happened here?!

Every fucking thing I say just appears!

Dead, dead, dead,

Another one joins!

Pretty soon we’re gonna need

a fucking sign-in point!

What the fuck happened here?!

I was gone five minutes!

Like 12 ghosts in it.

FIVE!

Why’s it cold now?!

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Okay, inventory, count ’em up,

Cause apparently dying ain’t enough.

Got an angry motherfucker running at Mach ten,

Then he kills one guy and we start again.

Got a cannibal chewing on somebody’s thigh,

Got a torso on the floor still refusing to die.

Got Obambo in the corner going zen, going nuts,

One second, “Peace,” next second, “SPILL GUTS!”

Got an ice-cold bastard dropping degrees,

Walks through the room and everybody freeze.

Got a copycat kid flying over my head,

Stealing everybody’s powers like Pokémon Red.

Got dead on the left, got dead on the right,

Got screams downstairs every goddamn night.

And every single time I think I’ve seen it all,

Some new motherfucker comes through the wall!

Wait.

That’s me.

Whatever!

Point is, Revenant, look what you did!

What the fuck happened here?!

This whole damn house is getting weird!

Dead, dead, dead, dead

They multiply!

Every time somebody enters

another person fucking dies!

What the fuck happened here?!

I was gone five minutes!

Like 12 ghosts in it.

FIVE!

You had one room.

ONE.

FUCKING.

ROOM.