Diploma in Hand

**Diploma in Hand**

**[Verse 1]**

After five long years, my studies are done,

Diploma in my pocket, the whole world has begun.

My parents always told me, "A degree's the key!"

I'll check every job listing, every ad I can see,

Pick the finest position, the best there can be,

Make a fortune and finally move away from mommy!

**[Chorus]**

How's it gonna be?!

The important thing is keeping your diploma with you! *(Well, I do!)*

To find whatever job you really want to pursue! *(I'll find the greatest job in the world!)*

Remember that your diploma's safely in your hand! *(And I'm proud of it!)*

One day its moment surely will come!

**[Verse 2]**

My first interview happened down at city hall,

But nobody asked about my diploma at all.

Instead they asked me whether I knew someone in charge.

I left the bank interview before it got too far,

They wanted a century of experience by far,

But I'm only twenty-five, not a veteran at all!

**[Chorus]**

So how's it gonna be?!

The important thing is keeping your diploma with you! *(But it isn't easy!)*

To find whatever job you really want to pursue! *(I'll keep trying, I'll keep searching!)*

Remember that your diploma's safely in your hand! *(Five years of hard work!)*

One day its moment surely will come!

**[Verse 3]**

I could have worked in a warehouse selling shoes all day,

For six hundred zlotys and a single shoe as pay.

And maybe one-fortieth of a full-time job to keep!

I could have worked off the books down in a coal mine black,

A sawmill tried to cheat me and hold my wages back,

And the slaughterhouse director started hitting on me!

**[Chorus]**

How's it gonna be?!

The important thing is keeping your diploma with you! *(Hidden very deep!)*

To find whatever job you really want to pursue! *(I never managed, what a joke!)*

Remember that your diploma's safely in your hand! *(Mr. Dean, what was that?)*

One day its moment surely will come!

**[Verse 4]**

I couldn't find a decent job back home in Poland's land,

So I went to Germany to pick raspberries by hand.

Though honestly, I didn't need a degree for that.

On the very first day working, I ate a few for lunch,

Unfortunately for me, they hadn't had a wash.

A little while later, I knew that I'd be in trouble!

**[Bridge]**

Oh no! My stomach! What am I supposed to do?!

**[Final Chorus]**

Remember that you still have your diploma in your hand! *(I do!)*

And finally the time has come when it can save the day! *(Good thing I finished college!)*

Remember that you still have your diploma in your hand!

And now at last your diploma's time has come!

Turns out my diploma was useful after all...

Just not in the way my professors planned.

Turns out my diploma finally saved my ass.