I Kept the Knife

(bare whisper, cracked, almost spoken)

I kept the knife…

I kept the silence…

It kept me too…

(whisper into strained edge)

I’m trapped in a room with no doors

I claw the walls from the inside

No place left to hide — the truth just died

I still sleep next to what you left behind

You crossed that line, played the killing game

Betrayal’s a blade still wearing my name

Down in the dark a black storm tears

Broken wings locked behind dead stares

I talk to the bruise like it might talk back

Every night I lose you a little less intact

(drums thin, guitar starting to chew)

You thought you won, thought you locked the gate

I’m the flood you can’t outrun or wait

Watch your back — the clock already cracked

Your time’s up. What’s left of me attacked

And it lives in me first

(scream the last word of each line)

I’m kicking down the door I used to guard

Colder, meaner, hungrier, and scarred

You thought I’d fold, thought I’d stay polite

I’m coming back to burn your whole damn night

I wanted peace. I learned to fight

(You can’t run… you can’t hide…)

(half-cry, then grit)

I own the dark now…

It owns me too…

I own the night…

Fists locked white, rage under the skin

Judgment’s close — no way to spin

You lit the match. There’s no putting it out

Inside me the war is screaming loud

I rehearsed this speech with blood in my mouth

Winning still tastes like you walking out

Your pretty lies are ash under my boots

I waited quiet while the fuse took root

Sit and watch while I take what’s mine

Nowhere left. Your end’s on my design

I built this fire out of what you broke

Now it keeps me warm and it keeps me choked

I’m kicking down the door I used to guard

Colder, meaner, hungrier, and scarred

You thought I’d fold, thought I’d stay polite

I’m coming back to burn your whole damn night

I wanted peace. I learned to fight

(You can’t run… you can’t hide…)

I own the dark now…

It owns me too…

I own the night…

(drop to almost nothing — then rip)

This is the cut you left in me

Now it owns the night — now it sets me free

No more quiet. No more grace

You’re just a ghost I spit in the face

I still flinch when the hallway light

Looks like the last time you were right

I wanted you gone

I wanted you back

I wanted anything that didn’t feel like that

I’m kicking down the door I used to guard

Colder, meaner, hungrier, and scarred

You thought I’d fold, thought I’d stay polite

I’m coming back to burn your whole damn night

(I’m still here…)

I’m coming back to burn it all tonight

(I’m still here…)

Watch the whole thing go up in light

I wanted peace. I learned to fight

I won the war. I lost the quiet.

(whisper over dying feedback / last cymbal wash)

Sit and wait while the walls close in

Your verdict’s signed. The fire begins

I’m still here — now take your turn

Lesson carved deep while you burn

I kept the knife.

I kept the quiet.

I won.

And I still don’t know how to live with it.