What Am I Supposed to Do?

I brought a notebook, I made a list

I read the website, I think I got the gist

There’s a meeting at seven, I showed up at six

Was that too early?

I can probably fix this

They’re passing out signs, so I grab one too

Someone says, “Not that one”

Okay… what do I do?

I stand where they stand, try to follow the crowd

Then I start the wrong chant

Way too loud

I know I’m getting half of this wrong

But getting it wrong doesn’t mean I don’t belong

I’m trying to listen, I’m trying to learn

Just tell me where to start

What am I supposed to do?

Where am I supposed to stand?

I’ve got both hands in the air

But I don’t understand the plan

I know why I came here

I know what I believe

I don’t need to know the perfect words

To know what matters to me

So tell me what I’m supposed to do

I’m awkward, I’m new

But I’m here

And I really want to help too

They ask if I’d speak, I say, “Sure, why not?”

Then suddenly everyone’s watching

That was not in my thoughts

I wrote down three lines

Then I lose line two

Say “autonomy” twice

And forget what comes after “rights for…”

…You know who

Someone laughs softly

I laugh a little too

Then I look at the faces

And remember why I wanted to

Because some of us can leave

And some have to ask

Some get called people

Some get called tasks

So maybe I’m clumsy, maybe I’m slow

Maybe there are rules here everybody else knows

But if I walk away every time I feel unsure

What was all that learning for?

What am I supposed to do?

Where am I supposed to stand?

I’ve got both hands in the air

And a badly painted sign in my hand

I know why I came here

I know what I believe

I don’t need to be good at this yet

To know I shouldn’t leave

So tell me what I’m supposed to do

I’m awkward, I’m new

But I’m here

And I really want to help too

I don’t want to be the face

Just because mine gets seen

I don’t want to speak for everyone

I don’t know what everyone needs

I only know what I’ve lived

And what I’ve heard today

And maybe helping starts with knowing

I don’t have all the things to say

So I’ll listen

I’ll ask

I’ll probably mess up again

I’ll hold the wrong banner

At the wrong end

But I’d rather look foolish

Trying to understand

Than decide it’s too complicated

And wash my hands

What am I supposed to do?

Maybe I don’t need to know

Every answer before I start

Every road before I go

I know why I came here

I know what I believe

And if I stumble through the first few steps

At least I’m on my feet

I’ll find what I can do

I’ll learn what I don’t know

I don’t have to get it perfect

Just to care enough to show

What am I supposed to do?

I’m still not sure that I do

But I’m here

I’m listening

And I want to help

So show me where to begin