Without Permission

I have walked through empty hallways,

Been flayed for every word,

Carried truths they called delusions,

While my cries went unheard.

I have watched the hands that held me,

Turn and point me toward the blade,

The room was filled with laughter,

Lost within the masquerade.

You can count what it cost me,

Every scar and every doubt,

You can name the ways you broke me,

But you cannot count me out.

I have bent beneath the burden,

Learned what I could live without.

You can count what it cost me,

But you cannot count me out.

The laughter sounded hollow,

The music lost its hold,

The room had lost its rhythm,

I took one step in the cold.

The world didn’t end,

Repercussion never came,

Perception starts to bend,

As I finally said my name.

You can count what it cost me,

Every scar and every doubt,

You can name the ways you broke me,

But you cannot count me out.

I have bent beneath the burden,

Learned what I could live without.

You can count what it cost me,

But you cannot count me out.

My voice grew larger as I stood,

My eyes held theirs in truth,

I finally believed that I could,

Standing there became the proof.

My spine grew straight, my shoulders squared,

My moxie took control,

My head rose high, my eyes now dared,

To claim what fear once stole.

You can count what it cost me,

Every scar and every doubt,

You can name the ways you broke me,

But you cannot count me out.

I have bent beneath the burden,

Learned what I could live without.

You can count what it cost me,

But you cannot count me out.

The ballroom’s far behind me,

Their music’s growing small,

Their masks no longer bind me,

I don’t need to know at all.

I laugh without permission,

Their hatred lost its weight,

I live by my own definition,

I won’t let them choose my fate.

You can count what it cost me,

Every scar and every doubt,

You can name the ways you broke me,

But you cannot count me out.

I have bent beneath the burden,

But I’m standing here somehow,

There’s a whole life left before me,

And I’m here to live it now.

You can count what it cost me,

But you cannot count me out.