Paper Smile

Four walls closing in, air getting thin

Every breath I take feels heavy as sin

Got a storm inside that never lets up

Thunder in my chest, silence in my cup

People ask me how I’m doing, I say "fine"

Paint it all pretty, draw a straight line

But the colours crack when I turn away

Drown in shadows while I shine all day

It’s a heavy, heavy thing to hold it all in

Every laugh’s a lie, every glance is thin

I could spill it all, let the darkness pour out

But I’m terrified of what it’s gonna take down

So I wear this paper smile, keep the demons locked inside

Won’t let anybody see the ruin that I hide

It’s a cage I built myself, bars of quiet fear

If I let the darkness out, I know it’ll drag you here

I’m trapped beneath the glow, burning slow, burning slow

If I tell you how it feels… I’ll drag you down below

See the way I laugh, hear the words I say

Perfect little picture, every single day

But behind my eyes there’s a ghost that screams

Haunting every moment, stealing all my dreams

I keep my distance, keep it light and cool

Keep you safe from what I’m going through

‘Cause my hell is deep and it’s hungry too

And I won’t drag anyone into my blue

It’s a weight that only I should carry

Poison in my blood, and I’m too wary

To pass the cup, to hand the pain to you

So I swallow it all till I’m turning blue

So I wear this paper smile, keep the demons locked inside

Won’t let anybody see the ruin that I hide

It’s a cage I built myself, bars of quiet fear

If I let the darkness out, I know it’ll drag you here

I’m trapped beneath the glow, burning slow, burning slow

If I tell you how it feels… I’ll drag you down below

Some days the smile slips, cracks begin to show

Almost let it slip, almost let it go

But I bite my tongue and I pull it tight

Keep the gate shut, keep the shadows quiet

I love you too much to make you hurt like me

To make you sink when I’m already deep

So I carry the hell where no one can find

Smile through the fire while I’m losing my mind

Yeah I wear this paper smile, keep the demons locked inside

Won’t let anybody see the ruin that I hide

It’s a cage I built myself, bars of quiet fear

If I let the darkness out, I know it’ll drag you here

I’m trapped beneath the glow, burning slow, burning slow

If I tell you how it feels… I’ll drag you down below

Paper smile, it won’t hold long

Paper smile, I’m barely holding on

You think I’m heaven, you think I’m light

But I’m the darkness swallowing the light…

All alone.

I’ll keep you safe.

From my hell.