LAND OF THE FREE* *Terms and Conditions Apply

I learned the pledge before I learned

What all the little footnotes meant

That liberty was guaranteed

With certain limits and consent

They taught me every voice was heard

That justice wore a blinded eye

Then somewhere underneath the flag

I found the terms that still apply

Freedom's yours, we're proud to say

Some restrictions may apply

Offer varies state to state

Please see Congress for the why

Welcome to the land of the free*

Where everybody's equal, theoretically

Raise up the flag, let freedom ring

Subject to the court interpreting

From sea to shining sea, we're proud to guarantee

Your life, your voice, your liberty

Some exclusions may apply, but hey,

You're living in the land of the free*

Your vote is yours, so use it well

We'd love to hear what you decide

Your polling place moved yesterday

It's forty-seven miles outside

Your body is your own, of course

Depending where you cross a line

Your book is free to speak its mind

If someone hasn't banned the spine

Speak your truth, assemble proud

That's what freedom's all about

Just kindly stay behind the rope

And fill this permit application out

Welcome to the land of the free*

Where everybody's equal, theoretically

Raise up the flag, let freedom ring

Subject to the court interpreting

From sea to shining sea, we're proud to guarantee

Your life, your voice, your liberty

Some exclusions may apply, but hey,

You're living in the land of the free*

You're free to criticize the ones

Who represent you from on high

Unless they draw the voting maps

And choose their voters by design

The government belongs to you

Your representatives agree

And once you've chosen who you want

They'll choose which choices you can see

Government by people's will

That's how the brochure says it works

You pick the people making laws

Provided they don't pick you first

Liberty not available in all jurisdictions.

Representation may vary.

Polling-place closures may occur.

Additional ID may be required.

Equal protection subject to interpretation.

Privacy, protest, education, healthcare, and bodily autonomy sold separately.

Rights shown for illustration only.

Past democracy does not guarantee future democracy.

But freedom isn't freedom

with an asterisk beside it.

Welcome to the land of the free*

Where everybody's equal, theoretically

Raise up the flag, let freedom ring

Subject to the court interpreting

From sea to shining sea, we're proud to guarantee

Your life, your voice, your liberty

Some exclusions may apply, but hey,

You're living in the land of the free*

Land of the free*

Proudly guaranteed

Land of the free*

Some restrictions may apply

Land of the free*

From sea to shining sea

Read the fine print carefully

In the land of the free*

Land of the free.

Terms and conditions subject to change without notice.