[Intro – Dramatic orchestral swell, electric guitar and a mysterious clarinet melody]
Out beyond the edge of nowhere,
Where the stars burn cold and bright,
There's a ship that haunts the darkness,
Sailing silently through night.
Not a cruiser, not a freighter,
Not a vessel you forget,
It's a mighty stealth machine
And its name is The Clarinet!
[Verse 1]
Captain Toric takes the helm,
Once a warlord, now in charge,
His nephew Willow turned to darkness,
So he took command at large.
Now he's hunting down the fuel
That this expensive beast requires,
Saving worlds between adventures,
While the engine bill climbs higher!
[Pre-Chorus]
They've faced the things that haunt the stars,
And fought where few would dare,
But finding fuel for this great ship
Is their greatest nightmare!
[Chorus]
THE CLARINET! THE CLARINET!
The strangest ship you'll ever get!
Through the stars and past the sun,
There's always some new trouble to outrun!
THE CLARINET! THE CLARINET!
A crew the universe won't forget!
They've saved the world, they've faced their fate,
Now somebody find some fuel before it's late!
[Verse 2]
There's J5, an android dreaming
Of the things that humans do,
With his fedora sitting proudly,
He's got something to prove.
And H2, that green hydrant,
Has a party on his mind,
They're the closest pair of friends
That the galaxy could find!
[Verse 3]
Then there's Bones, the ship's physician,
With a rather special past,
He was Death before his new career,
And old habits sometimes last.
He'll examine every patient,
With a calm professional tone,
"Your condition is quite serious.
I've seen this once before."
[Spoken – Completely deadpan]
"Unfortunately, I was the one who caused it."
[Chorus]
THE CLARINET! THE CLARINET!
The strangest ship you'll ever get!
Through the stars and past the sun,
There's always some new trouble to outrun!
THE CLARINET! THE CLARINET!
A crew the universe won't forget!
They've saved the world, they've faced their fate,
Now somebody find some fuel before it's late!
[Verse 4 – Bigger guitars, drums]
And Cawn struts about the bridge,
With his chest held way up high,
He's a chicken with ambition,
And a rather inflated eye.
He has plans for domination,
He has speeches he must make,
But the captain's seen his kind before,
And knows when not to take the bait!
[Bridge – Slower]
They faced the terror known as Girl,
A creature dark and strange,
A vampiric threat to all existence,
With the universe at stake.
They stood against the endless night,
And somehow made it through,
But now there's just one problem left...
[Spoken – Bones]
"Captain, we're almost out of fuel."
[Instrumental Break – Sweeping guitar solo with clarinet melody]
[Final Chorus – Full band, backing vocals]
THE CLARINET! THE CLARINET!
The strangest ship you'll ever get!
Across the stars, through space they roam,
A bunch of misfits far from home!
THE CLARINET! THE CLARINET!
The galaxy's not seen the best of it yet!
They've saved the universe, don't be late,
NOW SOMEBODY FIND SOME FUEL!