[Verse 1]
I woke with a boot on the table,
A bruise shaped like yesterday’s rain,
My coat in the baker’s back window,
My left sock aboard the night train.
The landlord said, “Pay for the damage,”
I said, “Name what I broke if you can.”
He pointed at six empty barrels—
I pointed at one better plan.
[Chorus]
Raise up the latch, throw open the door,
We’ve got one bad night and we’re asking for more!
Stamp on the boards, let the old rafters ring,
A crooked little disaster is a beautiful thing!
Hey! Ho! Pass the cup down the line!
Hey! Ho! We’re doing just fine!
When fortune goes wrong, we’ll be right where we belong—
At the loudest old tavern in town!
[Verse 2]
We borrowed a cart from the butcher,
A goat took the driver’s seat,
We raced past the chapel at sunrise,
With flour on every street.
The constable shouted, “Come quietly!”
We answered with one more refrain,
Then hid in a wedding procession
And danced through the bride’s family train.
[Chorus]
Raise up the latch, throw open the door,
We’ve got one bad night and we’re asking for more!
Stamp on the boards, let the old rafters ring,
A crooked little disaster is a beautiful thing!
Hey! Ho! Pass the cup down the line!
Hey! Ho! We’re doing just fine!
When fortune goes wrong, we’ll be right where we belong—
At the loudest old tavern in town!
[Instrumental Break]
[Fiddle and accordion trading eight-bar phrases]
[Gang shouts: “One more round!”]
[Bridge]
By noon we had lost the whole wagon,
By two we had found three new friends,
By four there were ribbons and lanterns,
By five we were making amends.
The baker brought out a fresh basket,
The butcher came laughing behind,
The constable lifted his pint and said,
“Next time, leave the goat here outside!”
[Final Chorus]
Raise up the latch, throw open the door,
We’ve got one bad night and we’re asking for more!
Stamp on the boards, let the old rafters ring,
A crooked little disaster is a beautiful thing!
Hey! Ho! Pass the cup down the line!
Hey! Ho! We’re doing just fine!
When fortune goes wrong, we’ll be right where we belong—
At the loudest old tavern in town!
[Outro]
At the loudest old tavern in town!
One bad night—then we do it again!