Invisible

I knew as it slipped through my fingers,

That warm, slick fabric he left behind.

I held it up, hoping his scent still lingered,

But clean laundry was all I could find.

I put it aside, pressed a hand to my chest.

Laundry could wait, my work schedule not.

The workday only added to the strain,

And I walked in to be bombarded on the spot.

I escape the bustle and head toward home,

Pull in the drive and remove the key.

Both hands on the wheel, I sit in silence,

For a moment there’s nobody needing me.

I have to get out of the car,

Head inside and face that shirt.

But I’m not ready, I feel too raw,

Too tired to pretend it doesn’t still hurt.

Legs aching and shoulders tight,

I head inside to face that house.

Their photographs are the first thing I see.

I lost both my son and my spouse.

I rinse the cup I left this morning,

Set it aside with nothing more to do.

I drop my head in my hands and breathe

And wonder how I’m still pulling through.

Does anybody see how hard I’m trying?

Does it mean anything that I’m still here?

Does it count if no one sees my struggle,

Does it count if no one sees my fear?

She sits in darkness at the kitchen table,

One small glow against the night.

A sound breaks the quiet; she heads down the hall,

To hold her children through their fright.

Her children calmed, she returns to the table

To face what she is avoiding there.

Her paycheck pays on the electric,

And leaves her with nothing left to spare.

Does anybody see how hard I’m trying?

Does it mean anything that I’m still here?

Does it count if no one sees my struggle,

Does it count if no one sees my fear?

He wipes a cool cloth over the aging brow

A monitor beeps with the passage of time

Reminders of the task he’s chosen

While his own needs fall farther behind.

At last they are sleeping, the house and time are his,

He drops into a chair with exhausted grace

There’s no room now for things he once loved

Guilt for even missing them etched on his face.

Does anybody see how hard I’m trying?

Does it mean anything that I’m still here?

Does it count if no one sees my struggle,

Does it count if no one sees my fear?

Does it matter that I got out of bed?

Does it matter that I’m drowning in debt?

Does anyone see I’m in over my head?

Am I that easy to forget?

Does anybody know that I’m out of food?

Can’t anyone see the threadbare clothes?

Does anyone notice the shift in my mood?

Does it matter that I held on with what I chose?

Does anybody see how hard I’m trying?

Does it mean anything that I’m still here?

Does it count if no one sees my struggle,

Does it count if no one sees my fear?

I hold on through the stress and pain

Because there is a job to do.

Quietly caring for those I love

Do they know what it costs me too?

I see you.

And they do too.