I Won’t Disappear

I wake up every morning with a war inside my head,

Fighting all the things I wish I could forget.

I smile like I’m okay, but there’s a storm underneath,

Some days I’m so tired I forget how to breathe.

I’ve carried every failure like a weight around my chest,

Always comparing myself, never feeling like I’m enough.

The past keeps coming back like it knows where to find me,

And every time I start healing, something pulls me behind me.

I stare into the mirror, trying to recognize my face,

Wondering when I became someone I was trying to escape.

Maybe I don’t have to win tonight,

Maybe one more breath means I’m still alive.

Maybe I’m stronger than I thought I’d be,

Maybe there’s still a better side of me.

I’m still here, I’m still breathing,

Even when my heart stops believing.

I’ve been lost, I’ve been hurting,

But I know I’m still worth saving.

Let the whole world fall apart,

I won’t let it take my heart.

I may bend, but I won’t disappear,

After everything—

I’m still here.

I’ve learned that healing isn’t waking up and feeling new,

Sometimes it’s getting out of bed when everything hurts to do.

Sometimes it’s saying, “I’m not okay,” instead of hiding it away,

Sometimes it’s choosing to keep going when you don’t know what to say.

I’ve blamed myself for things I was never meant to carry,

Held onto old memories until they made my heart feel heavy.

I gave my younger self a thousand reasons to be ashamed,

When all she ever needed was someone to say, “You’re safe.”

So I’m learning how to love the parts I tried to hide,

The scared ones, the angry ones, the ones that cried at night.

I’m learning I can have a bad day without becoming my mistakes,

And I can lose a little ground without losing everything I’ve made.

Maybe I don’t have to win tonight,

Maybe one more breath means I’m still alive.

Maybe I’m stronger than I thought I’d be,

Maybe there’s still a better side of me.

I’m still here, I’m still breathing,

Even when my heart stops believing.

I’ve been lost, I’ve been hurting,

But I know I’m still worth saving.

Let the whole world fall apart,

I won’t let it take my heart.

I may bend, but I won’t disappear,

After everything—

I’m still here.

And if the darkness finds me again,

I’ll remember where I’ve already been.

I don’t have to be fearless tonight,

I just have to keep reaching for the light.

The voice inside my head can scream,

But it doesn’t get to bury my dreams.

I’ve lost pieces of who I used to be,

But I’m becoming someone I can finally believe.

I’m still here, I’m still breathing,

Even when my heart stops believing.

I’ve been lost, I’ve been hurting,

But I know I’m still worth saving.

Let the whole world fall apart,

I won’t let it take my heart.

I may bend, but I won’t disappear,

After everything—

I’m still here.

I’m still here,

Yeah, I’m still here.

After every tear, every scar, every year,

After everything I’ve faced,

I’m still here.