I’m Still Here

I don’t know if I’m getting closer

Or just getting better at pretending

But I know I didn’t come this far

Just to turn around now

I got a head full of plans and a room full of reasons

Why I shouldn’t do ‘em, but I still don’t delete ‘em

Everybody got advice when you’re standing at the edge

Funny how they disappear when you actually take the step

I used to need somebody telling me I’m doing okay

Now I get uncomfortable when somebody says my name

Like they know what I’ve been through, like they know what I’ve seen

You can know my whole story and still not know me

I’ve made mistakes I’m not proud of

Lost some people I thought would be around

Had nights where I couldn’t shut my brain off

And mornings where I didn’t wanna get out

But I did.

That’s the part nobody talks about.

I’m still here

Even when I didn’t wanna be

Still here

Even when I couldn’t see

Where this was going

What I was becoming

I’m still here

And maybe that’s enough for me

I stopped counting every time I fell

Started counting every time I got back up

Started realizing some of my worst days

Were the days that built me up

I don’t have the answers

I don’t even have the plan

I just know I’m tired of being scared

Of becoming who I am

I got dreams that make no sense on paper

That’s probably why I love ’em

’Cause if everybody understood ‘em

They probably wouldn’t be mine

And I still hear that voice sometimes

Saying “what if you fail?”

I just answer back

“What if I don’t?”

I’m still here

With a little more damage than before

Still here

But I don’t recognize the kid anymore

He wanted everybody’s approval

I just want something that’s mine

I’m still here

And I’m finally starting to like my life

I been low, I been high, I been somewhere in between

Had to lose a couple versions just to find the one that’s me

Everybody wants the finish, nobody wants the middle

Where you’re fighting with yourself and every choice feels little

I don’t need a perfect life

I need a life I actually chose

If it takes me ten more years

Then I guess that’s how it goes

I’ve got too much left to prove

And honestly, not to them

Every time I thought it was the ending

It was just another beginning

I’m still here

That’s the part I can’t ignore

Still here

And I ain’t who I was before

Maybe I was never broken

Maybe I was just becoming

I’m still here

And I’m not running anymore

Still here

Still me

Still becoming

That’s enough