Don't Go Downstairs

He hears a noise beneath the stairs

Still checks it out in mismatched pairs

The front door sticks, the phone goes dead

A warning sign above his head

She says, “We’ll split up, cover ground”

That’s how the trouble gets passed around

The map says nowhere, the gas light blinks

They take the shortcut—what could go wrong, you think?

Don’t read the diary, don’t touch the lock

Don’t ask who’s standing down the block

But every rule gets tossed aside

When curiosity takes the wheel for a ride

It’s a horror movie, everybody knows

The basement light is where the bad news grows

The car won’t start, the killer won’t quit

The one who says “I’ll be right back” never makes it

Run from the house, trip on the floor

Open the closet, check behind the door

If common sense survives the final scene

It’s probably hiding with the missing teens

The old house came with a bargain price

A portrait watches over every device

The babysitter hears a child upstairs

But every child is downstairs in their chairs

A mirror fogs, a candle dies

The dog is staring at an empty side

She calls her friend, gets voicemail tone

Then hears that friend breathing on the phone

Don’t say the name, don’t make a bet

Don’t trust the stranger you just met

But when the floorboard starts to creak

They whisper every word they shouldn’t speak

It’s a horror movie, everybody knows

The basement light is where the bad news grows

The car won’t start, the killer won’t quit

The one who says “I’ll be right back” never makes it

Run from the house, trip on the floor

Open the closet, check behind the door

If common sense survives the final scene

It’s probably hiding with the missing teens

Final girl standing in the rain

One shoe gone but she’s alive again

She finds the knife, she drops the knife

She finds a second one—now that’s plot life

The credits roll, the room goes still

Then one last hand rises from the windowsill

It’s a horror movie, everybody knows

Never trust a cabin where the pine tree grows

The lights go out, the shadows split

The sequel starts when you thought you finished it

Run from the house, trip on the floor

Lock every window, forget the door

If common sense survives the final scene

It’s probably waiting for the sequel scream

Don’t split up—too late

Don’t say the name—too late

Don’t go downstairs—too late

Roll credits... wait.