Track · Aug 29, 2026 · English
Sing Along Kids!
JonnyOnit50 plays
Plays
50
Likes
6
Duration
3:34
Language
English
Lyrics
[Intro — Bright children's music, toy piano & handclaps]
[MAN, CHEERFULLY:]
Hey kids! Come and have some fun with me!
If you know the words, sing along!
Ready?
One, two, three!
La-la-la-la-la!
La-la-la-la-la!
---
[Verse 1 — Innocent]
Once I met a girl named Sharon,
She was pretty, sweet and kind,
We fell in love and got married,
Thought we'd leave the past behind.
Bought a house and bought a car,
Thought we'd stay together,
But then Sharon took half my stuff
And said, “Thanks for everything, dear.”
[CHORUS]
Sing along, kids, sing along!
Clap your hands and smile!
Life is full of happiness,
So let's forget the trials!
[MAN:]
...She took the fucking house.
[Pause]
Sorry, kids!
---
[Verse 2 — Cracks Appear]
First it was the pool boy,
Then the plumber came around,
Then the postman started visiting
When no letters could be found.
There was Dave, and there was Gary,
Then some bloke called Steve,
And Sharon said they're “only friends”—
Yeah.
Friends who don't wear shirts or sleeves.
[CHOIR]
La-la-la-la-la!
[MAN:]
That's right!
We're all friends here!
---
[CHORUS — Slightly darker]
Sing along, kids, sing along!
Everything's okay!
When you're feeling sad and angry,
Just smile and shout “HOORAY!”
[MAN:]
HOORAY!
...for fuck's sake.
[Pause]
I mean....
---
[Verse 3 — Losing It]
The pool boy had a key,
The plumber had three,
The postman knew the tattoo on her arse—
I think Sharon's slept with half the fucking county!
[Music stops]
HOW MANY MEN?!
One, two, three, four...
FUCKING HUNDREDS!
[Silence]
[MAN, softly:]
Okay.
Breathe.
Okay...
We're calm.
We're happy.
We're singing.
---
[BRIDGE — Soft Music Box]
Breathe in...
Breathe out...
Let your angry feelings go...
[MAN, whispering:]
She took my money...
She took my car...
She took my dog...
...and gave my fucking air fryer to Steve.
[Beat]
STEVE?!
---
[FINAL CHORUS — Complete Breakdown]
[MAN:]
Right!
One final time, kids!
Everybody sing!
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
[MAN:]
I'M NOT FUCKING HAPPY!
If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet!
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF SHARON!
If you're happy and you know it—
[MAN:]
FUCK THIS!
[Music crashes]
SHARON!
WE NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE CHAT!
[Door slams]
[Silence]
[One tiny xylophone note]
[BOY CHILD'S VOICE:]
Is he coming back?
[GIRL CHILD'S VOICE:]
...I don't think so.
[Music box plays softly]
La-la-la-la-la...
[FADE OUT]
Style
cheerful nursery-pop with toy pianodarkening chaos; increasingly unhinged british male vocals.english
Credits
Prompt by
JonnyOnit
JonnyOnitGeneratedAug 29, 2026
ModelZona