That's So Sus!

[Intro – Spoken, over sneaky synth bass] Okay… Did that clock just change? And why is that cat looking at me?

[Verse 1] Woke up this morning, something wasn't right, My clock said seven, my phone said nine, Coffee maker started brewing on its own, And my houseplant's leaning toward the telephone! I grabbed my keys, but they weren't in their place, Found 'em in the fridge with a look on my face! Then I turned around, and there to my surprise— Green-eyed tabby with them don't-you-dare-blink eyes!

[Pre-Chorus] Now wait a minute, hold the phone, Something's going on, and I ain't alone!

[Chorus] That's so SUS! (SUS!) That's so SUS! (SUS!) Tell me what's going on around here with us! Red flags flying, got my head in a fuss, And that green-eyed kitty— THAT'S SO SUS!

[Verse 2] Hit the road, and the light turned red, GPS said, "Turn around!" when I went straight ahead! At the checkout line, my card said declined, Though I know I got money and I'm doing just fine! My phone showed ads for a thing I never bought, Then autocorrect wrote a text I never thought! I spun around, nearly tripped on my shoe— Green-eyed tabby in the shopping cart too!

[Pre-Chorus] Now wait a minute, this ain't no game, That cat keeps showing up wherever I came!

[Chorus] That's so SUS! (SUS!) That's so SUS! (SUS!) Tell me what's going on around here with us! Red flags flying, got my head in a fuss, And that green-eyed kitty— THAT'S SO SUS!

[Verse 3] Ran back home, locked every door, Checked the windows, checked 'em twice more! Pulled the curtains, said, "I'm safe at last!" Then a shadow moved and my heart beat fast! There on the sofa, sitting like a king, Was that same tabby wearing a tiny gold ring! I pointed at the cat: "Now, listen here, you!" It just licked one paw like it hadn't got a clue!

[Bridge – Beat drops, whispered vocals] Who's been moving my stuff? Who's been messing with my day? Who's been making weird things happen In a hundred different ways? I got questions! (Questions!) I need answers! (Answers!) That cat's been there through every single disaster!

[Spoken – Music stops] All right, furball. You and me. Right now. What do you know?

[Cat:] "Meow."

[Build – Backup singers] Meow? (SUS!) MEOW?! (SUS!) OH, COME ON NOW!

[Final Chorus – Full beat, layered vocals] That's so SUS! (SUS!) That's so SUS! (SUS!) Something's going on, and it's bigger than us! I got no proof, but I've got a hunch— That green-eyed kitty's behind the whole bunch!

That's so SUS! (SUS!) That's so SUS! (SUS!) I'm calling a meeting, I've had enough! Who's the Impostor? Who's pulling the fuss? Everybody's looking at the cat like—

THAT'S SO SUS!

[Outro – Beat fades, soft synth riff] I turned around to leave the room… That cat was gone. I heard a little meow behind me.

[Whisper] …I'm moving.