Track · Aug 23, 2026 · English
GOLD, WHORES, AND RUM
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Duration
5:09
Language
English
Lyrics
[Intro – bouncing reggae bass, blues guitar]
[Captain – gravelly, amused]
We beat the dead.
We broke the curse.
We sailed back home alive.
So tonight, boys…
We make some
very poor financial decisions.
[Crew]
AYE, CAPTAIN!
[Upbeat heavy riff]
[Verse 1]
Hit the harbor Friday night
With gold stuffed in our coats.
Had three months’ pay by sundown,
By midnight we were broke.
Bought the tavern seven barrels,
Lost two pistols playing cards.
Some bastard stole my trousers—
[Crew]
CAPTAIN!
[Captain]
I still got my boots.
[Crew]
GOOD ENOUGH!
[Reggae dubstep groove]
[Pre-Chorus]
[Captain]
What do pirates need?!
[Crew]
GOLD!
[Captain]
What do pirates want?!
[Crew]
WHORES!
[Captain]
And what keeps poor decisions coming?!
[Crew]
RUM!
[Captain]
NOW WE’RE TALKING!
[Chorus – rowdy gang vocals]
GOLD!
WHORES!
AND RUM!
THAT’S WHERE ALL
OUR MONEY’S GONE!
DRINK IT UP!
SPEND IT FAST!
WHO GIVES A DAMN
HOW LONG IT LASTS?!
GOLD!
WHORES!
AND RUM!
POUR ANOTHER FUCKING ONE!
BLACK FLAG HIGH!
TILL MORNING COMES!
WE LIVE FOR GOLD—
WHORES—
AND RUM!
[Bouncing reggae bass drop]
[Verse 2]
Found the crew atop the tables
Singing songs nobody knew.
One man married someone’s daughter.
Nobody knows fucking who.
Our cook was dancing barefoot.
Our gunner hugged a chair.
I asked him why.
He looked at me—
[Crew member]
SHE UNDERSTANDS ME!
[Captain]
Put the chair down.
[Heavy riff]
Then six fine ladies joined us,
And suddenly morale was high.
[Crew]
VERY HIGH!
[Captain]
Behave, you bastards.
[Crew]
NO PROMISES!
[Chorus – gang vocals]
GOLD!
WHORES!
AND RUM!
THAT’S WHERE ALL
OUR MONEY’S GONE!
LOSE YOUR COAT!
LOSE YOUR PAY!
WE’LL STEAL MORE GOLD
ANOTHER DAY!
GOLD!
WHORES!
AND RUM!
PASS THAT BOTTLE
WHEN YOU’RE DONE!
NO CURSE!
NO DEAD!
JUST TERRIBLE CHOICES
UP AHEAD!
[Reggae dubstep drop]
[Breakdown – funky slow groove]
[Captain]
Morning came.
My head hurt.
The crew was scattered everywhere.
[Crew – groaning]
Uggghhh…
[Captain]
Someone explain…
Why is there a goat
on my ship?
[Silence]
[Crew]
…We bought him.
[Captain]
Why?
[Crew]
HE WAS CHEAP!
[Captain]
Fair enough.
What’s his name?
[Crew]
COLLECTOR!
[Silence]
[Captain]
You bastards.
[Heavy riff]
[Final Chorus – rowdy gang vocals]
GOLD!
WHORES!
AND RUM!
ANOTHER NIGHT
OF PIRATE FUN!
SPEND THE GOLD!
DRAIN THE KEG!
SOMEONE GET
THAT GOAT OFF MY BED!
GOLD!
WHORES!
AND RUM!
BLACK FLAG BOYS
AIN’T EVER DONE!
NO KING!
NO CHAINS!
AND APPARENTLY—
NO FUCKING BRAINS!
[Crew – laughing]
NO FUCKING BRAINS!
[Outro – bouncing reggae groove]
[Captain]
Raise anchor.
We’re leaving before
someone sends us the bill.
[Crew]
AYE, CAPTAIN!
[Captain]
And bring the goat.
[Crew]
AYE, CAPTAIN!
[Captain]
…I hate all of you.
[Final bass drop]
Style
upbeat southern metal bluesreggae dubstep groovegravelly captainrowdy crew chantsheavy riffsbouncing bassenglish
Credits
Prompt by
Tankitall
TankitallGeneratedAug 23, 2026
ModelZona