Tornado

TORNADO

There’s a tornado of chaos in my brain

Spinning every memory into rain

I turn the lights off, but nothing goes dark

Every little thought still leaves a mark

I count the cracks across the ceiling

Try to name whatever I’m feeling

Everybody says it fades with time

But time keeps taking things that were mine

Chorus

What helps me make the pain go away?

I’ve tried sleeping through another day

Tried getting lost, tried getting numb

Tried convincing myself I’ve overcome

There’s a tornado of chaos in my brain

And I’m standing in the middle again

Maybe I don’t need to make it disappear

Maybe I just need to survive it here

I learned to smile with my teeth clenched tight

Learned how to look okay under fluorescent lights

I can make a joke while the whole room burns

Funny how surviving is something you learn

Chorus

What helps me make the pain go away?

I don’t know, maybe nothing today

Maybe some things don’t leave when you ask

Maybe you just get better at carrying the past

Bridge

Don’t tell me everything happens for a reason

Some things just happen

And ruin the season

Don’t tell me someday I’ll understand

I understand enough

I’m still where I am

Final Chorus

There’s a tornado of chaos in my brain

Some days a whisper, some days a hurricane

I stopped asking when it’s going away

Maybe healing isn’t feeling okay

Maybe healing is waking up

When waking up hurts

Maybe healing is staying

When leaving feels easier

There’s a tornado of chaos in my brain

But tonight

I’m still here

Anyway.