Still breathing

Four years gone, still fighting ghosts,

Funny how the ones you save can hurt you most.

I walked through hell, came out with scars,

Now I'm fighting demons that ain't even yours.

I held you down when the whole world dipped,

Jailhouse calls, yeah, I answered that shit.

Put money on books, put faith in your name,

While you put me through hell and called it a game.

I watched you get high, watched you fall apart,

Tried to fix your life while you shattered my heart.

Had a gun to my face, saw death in your eyes,

And somehow I'm the one who had to apologize?

Fuck that love, fuck those lies,

Fuck every night that I begged to survive.

You called me crazy, made me doubt my mind,

Now I'm digging through the wreckage of the girl left behind.

I gave you my soul, you handed me scars,

Now I'm chasing numb underneath these stars.

Everybody says that I'm better alone,

Then why the fuck don't I feel like I'm home?

I BEEN TO HELL, I KNOW THE WAY!

Stared down death and I walked away!

Four years free but I'm still in chains,

White lines running through a blacked-out brain!

I DON'T BREAK, I FUCKING BEND!

Lost myself trying to save a man!

Blood on the past, fire in my veins,

I ain't who I was—BUT I'M COMING BACK AGAIN!

Four damn years and I'm still not right,

Still got demons that I fight every night.

Cocaine dreams and a heart gone cold,

Twenty different ways just to dodge my soul.

I was your lifeline, your ride-or-die,

Now I'm the one getting buried alive.

Funny how I saved you from drowning in pain,

Just to find myself sinking in a different kind of rain.

I ain't innocent, I got my own sins,

Got a war in my head that nobody wins.

Mirror on the wall, tell me who I became,

I don't recognize the girl staring back at my face.

But I won't let your ghost write the rest of my story,

Won't let these bad nights rob me of my glory.

You took four years? Nah, you took enough.

I'm still fucking breathing, guess I'm still fucking tough.

I don't wanna be high, I just wanna feel whole,

Wanna find that girl before the world took its toll.

Wanna wake up one morning and finally see,

The person in the mirror looking back is me.

I survived your gun.

I survived your rage.

Now I'm fighting myself, trying to turn the page.

And if healing takes years, let the whole world know,

I'm not fucking finished.

I've still got room to grow.

I BEEN TO HELL, I KNOW THE WAY!

Stared down death and I walked away!

Four years free but I'm breaking chains,

Won't let white lines write my name!

I DON'T BREAK, I FUCKING BEND!

This ain't where my story ends!

Blood on the past, fire in my veins,

I ain't who I was—BUT I'M COMING BACK AGAIN!

I saved you once.

Now I'm saving me.

And this time...

I'm the one I'm gonna keep.