[Final Ensemble of the Feast. COMEDIC BROADWAY MUSICAL THEATRE ENSEMBLE. Sophisticated, witty, Sondheim-inspired theatrical songwriting with intricate patter rhythms, rapid-fire rhymes, conversational melodies, counterpoint, overlapping vocals, and precise comic timing. Set during a lavish royal banquet in the Kingdom of Gold, where a family succession dispute becomes increasingly comic ridiculous. This is the final ensemble number of the feast,]
[ORCHESTRA — A mischievous, aristocratic waltz. The guests are whispering. Sister and the Main Princess are exchanging icy looks. Their husbands are preparing to intervene. The daughter watches them all. ]
*DAUGHTER (spoken, to herself)*: “Now, wait just a minute…”
[A little pizzicato violin answers her.]
*DAUGHTER (singing)*: Gold will last forever, That's what the history books will say. But gold without a child to carry on Could see its name just fade away!
So why don't everybody see? It should be all up to me!
Who's it gonna be? My mother or my auntie? My father or my uncle? Who's the next one in the family?
[The orchestra begins to accelerate. The four adults turn toward her, but she keeps counting them off like names on a royal guest list.]
My mother says it's hers, My auntie says it's hers, My father wants to be heard, And my uncle wants his turn!
Everybody wants the crown, Everybody wants the throne, Everybody wants to rule the kingdom, Nobody wants to leave it alone!
[The guests begin tapping their feet. A few whisper the last line to one another.]
*DAUGHTER singing*: But tell me, what's the plan? Who's the woman? Who's the man? Who's gonna carry Gold along When all these royal reigns are gone?
[A sudden orchestral stop. She looks from her mother to her aunt.]
My mother or my auntie? My father or my uncle? All this fuss and all this fighting…
[She smiles as the orchestra launches into a cheeky, grand musical flourish.]
Just to end up being ME!
[Distinguish different voices of characters for the sister, main Princess, daughter, and background comical actors of a play]
*ENSEMBLE cast (overlapping, confused)*:“Her? What did she say? Did she say her? Not today!
*SISTER (spoken)*: “Excuse me?”!
*MAIN PRINCESS (spoken)*: “Darling, what are you talking about?”
*DAUGHTER (sings, sweetly)*: Oh, I'm only thinking of the future. Isn't that what everybody's doing?
[The orchestra gives a tiny, suspicious sting.]
*DAUGHTER*: If Gold is gonna last forever, Somebody's got to see it through. And if the future starts with me…
Well, what else am I supposed to do?
[She curtsies. The orchestra swells.]
*DAUGHTER & ENSEMBLE singing*: Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Mother, Auntie, Father, Uncle—
[DAUGHTER voice (above the ensemble)]:
“JUST TO END UP BEING ME”!
[FINAL HIT. The daughter raises her glass. Everyone else stares at her.]
[BACKGROUND ACTOR (spoken, from the table)]: “I knew we should've eaten before the speeches.”
[A final comic orchestral sting. Blackout.]