Adolescence

I love you, but I hate what you do to me

Thought that boy was gone, buried underneath

All the years I spent becoming someone else

But you say my name and I forget myself

He’s nervous when you look into my eyes

Overthinking every silence, every night

Wondering if he’s enough, if you’ll stay

If tomorrow you’ll still love him the same way

I thought growing up meant leaving him behind

Thought I’d finally outgrown that fragile mind

But you reached into a place I couldn’t see

And brought back the boy that used to be me

My adolescence, chained still

You broke him free

All the things I thought I killed

Came alive when you found me

You make me nervous, make me brave

Make me want the things I threw away

And I hate how much you mean to me

But maybe that’s what love’s supposed to be

You make a minute feel like forever

Then somehow make forever disappear

One “I love you” from your lips

And suddenly my chest can’t hold the feeling in

I built my walls so high

I forgot what they were for

Then you came along so softly

And I didn’t need them anymore

You make me childish

You make me dream

You make me believe in things

I swore weren’t meant for me

A future, a home, your hand inside of mine

Growing old with you and somehow being fine

When the world gets quiet and there’s nothing left to say

I just want your voice to be the one that stays

My adolescence, chained still

You broke him free

All the things I thought I killed

Came alive when you found me

You make me nervous, make me brave

Make me want the things I threw away

And I hate how much you mean to me

But maybe that’s what love’s supposed to be

I don’t hate you

I hate that you remind me

That beneath everything I’ve become

There’s still a boy inside me

The one who wants to be loved

The one who’s scared to lose

The one who never thought

Someone like you would choose

And you never asked him to disappear

Never told him he should grow up

You just took his trembling hand

And somehow that was enough

So let him live

Let him breathe

Let him feel everything

He’s been afraid to feel

Let him love you

Let him fall

Let him finally understand

He was never broken at all

My adolescence, chained still

You broke him free

Now that boy is standing here

And he’s looking back at me

All the dreams I threw away

Are coming back with every day

And I don’t hate what you do to me

I think you’re showing me who I could be

I thought he had left

But you brought him out of me

My adolescence, chained still

You broke him free

And maybe I was never meant

To leave that boy behind

Maybe he was only waiting

For someone worth finding

And somehow, somehow

That someone was you