The Weight

Some days I wake up slow,

like my soul forgot its place.

Some days I wake up fast,

like my mind’s a bullet I can’t chase.

And in between those quiet battles…

I’m just trying not to break.

Yeah, I’ve been running from the shadows in my own head,

Highs hit quick then I break like a bone snapped.

People see calm but they don’t see the storm back

Smile on my face but the pressure makes my soul crack.

Switch up quick, mood flips like a light switch,

One second stable, next second I’m a tight fist.

Tryna stay balanced but the scale always fights this,

Trying to stay steady but the darkness is a vice grip.

“Calm down,” they say, like I’m programmed to obey,

“Cheer up,” they say, like the pain just goes away.

If healing was a button, I would’ve pressed it every day

But you can’t fix the kind of battles that your mind loves to replay.

Yeah, I’m breathing but I’m barely feeling air in my chest,

Walking through the wreckage like I’m trying not to slip.

Every step’s a war, every calm is a test

Some days I’m alive, some days I barely exist.

And I don’t wanna break

but the weight keeps pulling on my hands.

Trying not to fade

trying to stand tall even when they don’t understand.

This is the weight I carry, heavy like a chain on my breath,

Quiet war inside me every time I try to rest.

I’m not okay, but I’m still here still fighting.

Some days I rise, some days I’m just surviving.

This is my truth, every scar, every tear,

Every shadow that I drag from the past to here.

Yeah this is the weight

the weight I carry every year.

Yeah, I’ve been stuck inside a cycle that I can’t dodge,

Mind racing like a riot, every thought’s a sabotage.

People think they know me from the mask that I collage

But they don’t see the breakdown hiding underneath the camouflage.

Mood swings hit hard like a punch from the blindside,

Heartbeat loud like it’s trying to outrun time.

Tell me, “Control yourself,” like control’s even mine

If they stepped inside my mind, they wouldn’t last one night.

I’m tired of the whispers, tired of the lies,

Tired of the rumors people twist in disguise.

Tired of pretending every moment I’m fine

Yeah I’m tired of the dark when it crawls up my spine.

Fighting every demon that scratches at my ribs,

Some days they whisper, some days they scream big.

If I don’t guard my heart, they’ll pull me off the grid

This ain’t mood swings, it’s the war I live.

I hate the switch… the snap… the crash…

The rise then the fall then the break then the smash.

They say “stay strong”

like strength is something you just grab.

If they carried what I carry,

they’d collapse under the past.

This is the weight I carry

but watch me rise through every fire in my path.

Yeah the darkness hits