Track · Sep 21, 2026 · English
Horror Movie Common Sense
etherealglow3 plays
Plays
3
Likes
1
Duration
2:53
Language
English
Lyrics
[Intro: Female]
Why is the basement door
Always slightly open?
[Intro: Male]
Because every sensible lock
Was apparently broken.
[Verse 1: Female]
We heard a noise beneath the floor,
You said, “Let’s check it out.”
I said, “Call the cops instead.”
You said, “What fun’s that about?”
[Verse 1: Male]
The hallway bulb begins to blink,
The Wi-Fi starts to die.
You grab a tiny kitchen knife—
That’s not a battle cry.
[Pre-Chorus: Female]
And why do we split up?
[Pre-Chorus: Male]
It never ends up well.
[Pre-Chorus: Both]
One takes the stairs, one takes the hall,
One takes a ride straight into hell.
[Chorus: Both]
Don’t go in there!
Don’t touch that thing!
Don’t read the book with the leather string!
If a doll turns round,
Just leave the town—
And maybe don’t investigate the singing sound!
[Chorus: Female]
If the killer trips, run faster!
[Chorus: Male]
Don’t stop to give a speech!
[Chorus: Both]
Horror movie common sense
Is something no one teaches!
[Verse 2: Male]
The car won’t start, of course it won’t,
The keys are on the seat.
You pound the hood, you blame the rain,
Then jog in clown-like feet.
[Verse 2: Female]
The phone has just one percent left,
So here’s your brilliant plan:
You call your ex to say goodbye—
That’s not the final stand!
[Pre-Chorus: Male]
The mirror fogs behind you.
[Pre-Chorus: Female]
There’s breathing in the vent.
[Pre-Chorus: Both]
You ask, “Who’s there?” three times in a row.
That question’s never well-spent.
[Chorus: Both]
Don’t go in there!
Don’t touch that thing!
Don’t read the book with the leather string!
If a doll turns round,
Just leave the town—
And maybe don’t investigate the singing sound!
[Bridge: Female]
The babysitter hears a creak—
She checks the upstairs room.
[Bridge: Male]
The teenagers hear a creak—
They turn it to a dance tune.
[Bridge: Both]
The priest arrives with holy water,
Trips upon the welcome mat.
The ghost says, “Boo!”
He says, “Bless you!”
And that’s the end of that.
[Final Chorus: Both]
Don’t go in there!
Don’t touch that thing!
Don’t text “LOL” when the dead phone rings!
If the attic pounds,
Sleep on the ground—
And never follow footprints that go nowhere round!
[Final Chorus: Female]
If someone says, “We’ll split up,”
[Final Chorus: Male]
Say, “Absolutely not!”
[Final Chorus: Both]
Horror movie common sense—
The rarest superpower ever caught!
[Outro: Both]
The basement door is closing...
[Female]
Was that you?
[Male]
Nope.
[Both]
Run!
Style
comedic horror-pop duetmale and female call-and-response vocalsspooky minor-key pianotheatrical stringsplayful brass stabspunchy pop-rock drumssudden stop-start accents for jokescampy cinematic sound designclear character contrastpolished modern mixbuild from sly verses into a big singalong chorusenglish
Prompt
Create a song about horror movie cliches make it funny
Male and female singers.
Credits
Prompt by
etherealglow
etherealglowGeneratedSep 21, 2026
ModelZona